BIOMENG341: Bioinstrumentation
The 7 Hallmarks of a Spectacularly Disastrous Paper
1. Temporal surge of pseudo-confidence
During the first 10 minutes, you skim through the questions and pleasantly discover that you have successfully spotted a number of questions. You beam with pride (internally) as you mentally calculate all the marks you can grab, albeit rather inaccurately.
2. "Time management"
Even before you've laid your pen on the paper, you start contemplating how early you want to leave the examination room.
3. After-exams Plans
Of course, if you're leaving early, you need to plan where you can go and walk-walk (eg. Queen Street) after examinations.
4. Lack of sleep
Finally, as you begin pouring ink onto the paper, you begin to realize your body is screaming out for more sleep despite the double dose of caffeine and vitamin C. It doesn't help that the reality of your true incompetence is starting to sink in.
5. Verbal diarrhoea on known questions
As if to make up for the multitudinous questions that you have skipped, you decide unwisely to "invest" more time and effort than warranted into questions that you (think you) know.
6. Panic
As time oozes surreptitiously out of the window, the pressure button is officially switched on. Like trapped in a timeless dimension, you are soon enlightened by that dreaded white wall clock that you have less than 30 minutes left even though you still have almost an hour's worth of questions.
As you attempt to quicken your pace, you tragically find out that you've "rationed" the toughest questions for the last.
7. Sense of despair
Like entering a battlefield naked with only a Kleenex tissue as your weapon of choice, you decide that you are better off waving that piece of tissue, than trying to smother your opponents.
JIALAK. SI LIAO LAH.
1. Temporal surge of pseudo-confidence
During the first 10 minutes, you skim through the questions and pleasantly discover that you have successfully spotted a number of questions. You beam with pride (internally) as you mentally calculate all the marks you can grab, albeit rather inaccurately.
2. "Time management"
Even before you've laid your pen on the paper, you start contemplating how early you want to leave the examination room.
3. After-exams Plans
Of course, if you're leaving early, you need to plan where you can go and walk-walk (eg. Queen Street) after examinations.
4. Lack of sleep
Finally, as you begin pouring ink onto the paper, you begin to realize your body is screaming out for more sleep despite the double dose of caffeine and vitamin C. It doesn't help that the reality of your true incompetence is starting to sink in.
5. Verbal diarrhoea on known questions
As if to make up for the multitudinous questions that you have skipped, you decide unwisely to "invest" more time and effort than warranted into questions that you (think you) know.
6. Panic
As time oozes surreptitiously out of the window, the pressure button is officially switched on. Like trapped in a timeless dimension, you are soon enlightened by that dreaded white wall clock that you have less than 30 minutes left even though you still have almost an hour's worth of questions.
As you attempt to quicken your pace, you tragically find out that you've "rationed" the toughest questions for the last.
7. Sense of despair
Like entering a battlefield naked with only a Kleenex tissue as your weapon of choice, you decide that you are better off waving that piece of tissue, than trying to smother your opponents.
JIALAK. SI LIAO LAH.
Labels: Bioinstrumentation, BIOMENG341
posted by Kelvin Lim at 12:00 am
8 Comments:
Ahahahahahha.
Wave, Kelvin Bing, wave!
Sometimes it's less excrucuating to look to your defeat with pride.
Nah. You're too smart to fail.
HAHA. Look at my defeat with pride? Nooooo...
Hey Bing Bing!
Juan juan's totally right, u cant fail one loh. We have absolute faith in you.
But of cos just scrapping through is a totalli different matter as failing....
Hahahaha...Anw, ur fatabulous fan may be gg to China again for 2 wks, province unknown as yet. Another IPO job. Apparently I'm the only A2 gg now (if I do get to go in the end). Heard it's a HUGE job, like need 300 ppl. Where are the other ppl????????
So so so, i told u abt the frd i befriended in Shanghai rite? She's quite pretty u noe, has tt delicate chinese quality tt only girls in China can manage to exude.
U. me n jusn sld consider Shanghai if we wanna travel 2gether nxt time.
Yeah yeah. That sounds like a great idea!
I also got to know quite a few people from Hong Kong too, maybe we can drop by HK on the way. Hmmmmm...
Yeah, fatabulous if we can travel together.
So I realised audit has its up side too, gettin to travel and making frds.
Hey juan juan, we cld go see Weirdo Hongkie if we do go to Hong Kong.
Hahahahhaha...
I don't mean to be rude to your commenters above but being very trashy myself i thought the word was supposed to be Fantabulous? Hence the name should be Fantabulicious.
Anyways good luck on your exams!! Mine's coming in 2 weeks time. I'm kinda procrastinating myself. hahaha!
Gossip guy?
Hmmmm... I can almost guess who you are. Heh.
To Kelvin's fantabulicious/fantabulous fan:
You arsehole. Shut up.
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