Flogging Flags

It's been a long time since I've actually updated. So here's a corny website which NZ Herald recommended.

Josh Parsons, a lecturer in the Otago University obviously had too much time at hand and gave letter grades to existing flags in the world. Yes, he graded the aesthetic value based upon a list of arbitrary rules:

Rule 1: Do not write the name of your country on your flag.
Rule 1a: Do not write on your flag.
Rule 1b: Do not write some stupid slogan on your flag.
Rule 1c: If you must write a stupid slogan on your flag, do not do so in a living language!
Rule 2: Do not put a map of your country on your flag.
Rule 2a: Do not put a picture of anything on your flag.
Rule 3: Do not use a tricolour unless you are in Europe.

You can have a good laugh at how he reasoned his way through here.

Here are a sampling of the flags that achieved the rare A-grades:

Pakistan
A 88/100
Best use of the star and crescent. Unfortunately, it depicts something astronomically impossible, namely the eclipse of the moon by a star. But perhaps it's not a star but a nuclear satellite-weapon aimed at India?

Canada
A- 80/100
Hmm... that maple leaf? A difficult question, but I think not quite stylized enough.


And the B-graded flags are...

Liberia
B 74/100 Plagiarism, Too busy
Not very original, but at least an improvement on the US flag.



Libya
B 70/100
Did you even try?



Singapore
B- 65/100
Too many stars




Angola
B- 65/100 Weapons Corporate Logo
Machete on flag nicely depicted but not wise idea.




Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

B- 65/100
Good effort for a country whose name sounds like a 50s rock'n'roll group.



As you can probably guess, as the grade slips further, the description becomes more hilarious.

Greenland
C+ 60/100
Possibly most eyewatering flag in existence.




Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia

C+ 60 / 100
Looks unfortunately like a target.


New Zealand
C 55/100
Colonial Nonsense



Mauritius
C- 50/100
"Hey, lots of countries have a tricolour, why don't we have a quadricolour?" Big mistake.



Unfortunately. there were many more failures. Haha.

Marshall Islands
D+ 45/100
Looks like an airline logo.



Montserrat
D 40/100
Features a picture of a woman crucifying a harp.



Paraguay
D 40/100
Name of country written on the flag. Perhaps they have the excuse that their citizens can't remember the difference between Paraguay and Uruguay either.


Zimbabwe
D 40/100
Features a hawk sitting on a toilet.



Falkland Islands
D- 38/100
Worst UK colonial flag. Has a sheep on it. Actually, if you look closely, you can see that the sheep is riding on top of an island, which is riding on top of a ship. Also the stupid slogan is in English, and is a platitude.

El Salvador
D- 36/100

Not only did they write the name of country on the flag, but its full mailing address, in a living language.


Guam
F 20/100
Name of country written on flag in ugly typeface. Notice that the M of Guam is larger than the other letters. I have given it this high a grade because it would actually make quite a nice tea towel.


Northern Mariana Islands
F 2/100
Appears to have been constructed from clip art. Truly awful.



Yet, the funniest and most cruel description was reserved for the Polynesian island nation of Tuvalu.

Tuvalu
D+ 49 / 100
Maps! Bad Colours, Too many stars, Too busy



Tuvalu was previously on 50. However, I didn't realise the horrible truth about their flag. Those stars aren't in a random arrangement at all... they're in the shape of the islands that make up the country. It's a map! On the other hand much of Tuvalu will soon be underwater owing global warming, and they'll have to remove some of those stars.


I bet you never knew flags could be of so much fun.
For more crap, visit Parson's website!