Army Arghhh

Recently, I've been bombarded by a flurry of mail from "The Decisive Force" of the Republic of Singapore.

Our Army is to deter aggression, and should deterrence fail, to secure a swift and decisive victory. In peacetime, our Army is to be ready and capable of conducting a spectrum of operations to protect our national interests and the well-being of our citizens.

So here's the "spectrum of operations to protect our national interests and the well-being of our citizens" which I plainly interpret as pure harassment.

REMINDER TO ATTEND REMEDIAL TRAINING

What the... I take extreme offense. Since when did I fail my IPPT that would warrant a "warning letter"? (Though I wouldn't be too confident for this year...)
But seriously, I haven't taken my IPPT yet so this kind of ominous insinuation is simply uncalled for. In addition, it's still over a month to my birthday! (insert subtle hint, 25/9)

PIONEER

This is probably one of the few "compulsory" must-haves that all army-serving males would receive every month. Despite numerous attempts to try to unsubscribe it, my cries have obviously fallen on deaf ears.

For the sake of mother nature, I will still try to convince those idiots at MINDEF to save the earth and stop wasting paper on me.

Anyway, call me a quibbler but have you ever wondered why this magazine is still called Pioneer? The last time I learnt about this word, Pioneer was associated with new, leading and maybe even trailblazing.

But at Issue 369, and you're still calling it Pioneer?!

armynews | pulse of the army

WOAH. Hold it. What is this? I've never received any publications other than PIONEER . And now this?

The cover proclaims that it is issue number 154 so I wonder what have I been missing out on all this while? Heh.

The New Adventures of
Army WOSpecs

This really takes the cake. While I was initially horrified that I had received a third propaganda from SAF, I was soon laughing my ass off when I saw the title.

Seriously, who in the world suggested using the phrase "The New Adventures of..."?!

I mean I could understand if people used it in comics and cartoons such as...

The New Adventures of Captain Planet

The New Adventures of Superman

or maybe throw in Batman.
I definitely wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Goodness. Maybe I should consider laminating this publication since it's the FIRST EDITION.

Oh, did I mention they even include real-life testimonials to convince that this "New Adventures of..." book is really good. And my favourite quote:

Every so often there comes a book that make you sit up and think about your place in the Army as a WOSpec. This isn't one of them but it will keep you motivated. It's simply manificent!

3SG Mahmud (NSF)